We never knew what we were getting into!

Updated: Mar 2, 2021

Oh this boy! Let me introduce our 5 going on 15 year old, Nikalus Zakary. He test my ability to be a good mom on a daily basis and makes me question EVERYTHING I do as a mother, teacher and wife with everything he does. He literally is our curve ball child; just when you think you have figured out exactly how he works and just what he needs BOOM a curve ball. He made me a mother but often makes me wish I wasn't a mother. He is so smart, like way smarter than any 5 year old should be and oh boy that mouth and sass.

So another note. We as parents allow our children to cuss. We try to teach them appropriate times and places but some times you just need to drop an f-bomb or ask what the hell. They are just words and have a time and a place just like stupid, idiot and retarded, we allow them to say situations are these things not people or animals. We try to teach the appropriate situations to use a word. Not that you ABSOLUTELY should never use a word.

Nik makes me want to be a better mom. I would say he is my Karma child but I have 3 of those. They ALL act like me and challenge me. Niklaus just has more going on that makes him more challenging.

He is brilliant. He is a September boy so he doesn't start Kindergarten until the 2021 school year. However, he is about 30 days from completing Kindergarten in homeschool. He says all the time, "Well, ya know I'm a genius" or "Ya, I'm a genius." Which he isn't really wrong, he tested almost above average as a 4 year old for IQ, I am sure he would be over the mark now. He is obsessed with dinosaurs, animals and learning. He thrives on routine and wants structure. He loves doing puzzles and mind challenging activities. He is driven to read and be a bigger part of our world. He has the most literally and dry sense of humor but still is hilarious. He is loud and has no sense of volume control. He does everything 100% with his full heart, even the naughty things.

Niklaus struggles with self regulation, focus and social situations. Since he was young we always just said, "He is just Niklaus." He struggles daily, many days hourly and often in the minute. He can go from absolute out of control to shutdown and wore out. My sweet boy. HE HAS TAUGHT ME TO FIGHT! I fight every day for him and his brother and his sister and the children in my child care! I fight for them and I will continue to fight for him.

We got some answers as to why Niklaus is the perfect way he is, in March 2020, just before the quarantine, we went to Eugene to the Child Development and Research Center (CDRC) hoping to get some answers and to open doors for Niklaus to get help and succeed. Niklaus had been in Physical Therapy for about 11 months, Occupational Therapy for about 8 months and Behavioral Therapy for about 3 months. While his therapies were helping we were still struggling. We were barely surviving as a family; instead of thriving. We limited where we went because we knew Niklaus would not handle it well, we stuck to our routine because he needed it. The grocery store was a an outing that we had to prepare all day for. Niklaus' inability to self regulate controlled all of our lives. I believed, and still 100% believe Niklaus is Autistic and today Anthony believes the same. In March at CDRC, we received some diagnosis (not the one we believe) that have lead us on a path of working for and with Niklaus, helping him survive and thrive. He was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, Hypokinesis with Impulsivity (basically ADHD,) Childhood Anxiety, Ligamentous Laxity, Sleep Disorder, Articulation Disorder, Gross Motor Delay and Fine Motor Delay. These diagnosis gave a place to start and a the referrals we needed to help him succeed. I am sure we will talk A LOT about these diagnosis, what lead us to realize there was more and how we thrive as parents and a family with a child with special needs in future blogs. This boy defies all standards and odds. If we tell him he cannot do something or we try to shield him from something, he jumps with both feet and pushes until he succeeds. In almost a year Niklaus has come so far and become so successful. We head back to CDRC on March 1st and will see where we are for the next year. He will likely have yearly appointments until he is 8 and maybe longer.

We never knew what joy, struggle, love, pain, exhaustion, fun, excitement and absolute fulfillment being a parent would bring use until you, Niklaus Zakary.

All these pictures are from the last 12 months. The last one is a selfie that Niklaus took. It was one of like 900 and the only one that had his whole face.

This is Niklaus. Animal lover. Genius. Genuine. Literal. Caring. Eccentric. Loud. Busy. Love.

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